In the introduction to my spiritual memoir, From Bagels to Curry, I wrote to my brothers about our father’s imminent passing from this world:
“May these words help your heart to heal from loss and be filled with the joy of his spirit.”
How often have those words circled around to be offered as a healing balm to others who deal with this same universal experience – the loss of a loved one, and often a beloved pet.
Here’s Marnie’s story that she shared before her tears had dried over the passing of her Snowy:
Thank you, Lila, so much for your time yesterday. I immediately began using our flower essences.
About 6pm that evening, Snowy came to me and we connected and communicated. I felt like she was asking me how much time I could spend with her in the next month. I explained my schedule to the best of my knowledge and let her know my availability. I sensed she needed to know if I was ready to let her go. She seemed ready to move on. Though I felt she was willing to stay around longer if I needed her.
It seemed that we mutually agreed it would be okay for her to move forward. I made a phone call to the vet, and of course it was after hours. First thing this morning, the call was returned. We set up an appointment for Wed morning.
Snowy had a rough night, as did I – sleeping on the floor with her, as she didn’t want to sleep up on the bed for very long. I told her it would be another day and she didn’t seem to like that idea. It felt to me like she was ready now.
So I made a few more phone calls and found someone who would see her today – although I had to bring her to them, which wasn’t the plan. I talked to her about it and she seemed okay about going there. It was close by and she knew the doctor.
At 4:30 this afternoon, my son and I took her to the animal clinic. They helped her move on. We completed her life outside under a tree she seemed drawn to, and she behaved as though she was very much at peace.
Me? Well, it was a day of selfish tears that made for very swollen eyes and a red and runny nose, not to mention a heavy heart.
I knew Snowy would wait for me to be ready. But in our “discussion” yesterday, with me going back to work and being gone so much, it felt like she wanted me to let her go. So I did.
Now I’m sure she is romping about, chasing birds and butterflies. My heart is happy for her.
Sorry this correspondence is so long, but I’m sure the flower essences helped us both come to the agreement/decision as to what was best for her. Do you think I should I stay on the essence program you gave me, or should I alter it? If so, to what? Thanks again for your guidance.
Even though it’s now the middle of the night your time, I wanted to write you immediately upon receipt of your letter.
It surely seems you did the right thing, at the right time.
It sounds like our consult and the flower essences may have helped you to tune in to what was the best thing for Snowy. What a blessing. It sounds like you had beautiful closure and communication in this process of letting your beloved girl move on to her new life in the heavenly realms.
To answer your question: yes, please stay on this program exactly as it is. It was designed for you, either with her staying in this world or leaving it. Grape Essence helps us to keep loving a loved one who departs. Coconut Essence is to help transmute our love to her, as she is now without the form you used to know, and also to realize and focus on her freedom and well-being. Pear Essence is for peace in your heart that you did the right thing. Raspberry Essence is for compassion for yourself and to help erase any sense of guilt you might be holding onto.
Marnie, please don’t worry about your “selfish tears.” Snowy’s leaving is surely a great loss in this world for you. The tears are a part of your healing. It’s okay and natural to grieve. This is a time to be very gentle with yourself. When the grief subsides a bit, chances are that you will feel her with you, closer than ever, maybe even as though she’s with you at night or somewhere in the house. This often happens for pet owners, especially when the love between them and their pets runs deep.
Also remember that your other fur children will need you more now because they too are grieving her absence, even if they weren’t very outwardly close as a group. They too experience a sense of loss, as this is a big change for them to adapt to. So everyone, including yourself, may need a little more TLC in the time ahead.
Please stay in touch, and write any time.
Blessings and prayers,